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For me, everything has never been a pot of honey - by R

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Life is a work-in-progress. What is one thing you hope to improve and why?

'O' Level student-inmate from institution A4

Consolation Prize

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”

For me, everything has never been a pot of honey … In life we don’t really get what we want our way and it never will come our way we choose either. After losing both of my parents, the two people whom I love dearly, left me without saying goodbye. A friend, a lover I could trust and share my thoughts and feelings. I never had a chance to even say two words… that is “forgive me”. It is morbid to be left alone. Regrets started to engulf me when I realized I never got to relate my story while they were still around who had physically mentally abused me in their absences. Slowly anger built within me.

One thing I want to improve is my ‘Emotional Stability’. The issues that are varied get down to the wrath that triggers me all along. The reason I turned into a ferocious monster is because of being one of those physically and mentally abused victims. And just when I thought my life was starting, it abruptly halted, ending every beautiful future I once dreamt of. Naturally, life is full of denial. There were phases where I was traumatized and couldn’t get out of it. The nightmare repeatedly occurred instead of one time.

However, rather than dwelling on denial, I need to find my way to accept what’s done cannot be undone and grow stronger. Ultimately, I can’t think of any better representation of beauty than someone who is unafraid to be herself. So, I decided I want to pave my own path with every effort I put forth. I was given the opportunity to study at the age of 56. From there, I embarked on my journey steadfastly despite being old. My circle of friends, my PS and my teacher inspired and encouraged me to go further. Knowledge has taught me the values of life respectfully to be better and wiser. To illustrate more, I decided to change my character, attitude that heads towards the negative domain and towards the positive one. To prove myself, I lay out my plans and steps to achieve my goals.

To acknowledge my strength and weakness. The word ‘perfect’ is too good to be true. There’s no way for you to be perfect in everything. We all have weak spot and its vital to acknowledge them in order to identify and improve at the opportune time i.e. something that they are exceptionally good at. Again, in order to bring improvement to my life, I need to cherish my strength to overcome my weakness by starting to say ‘NO’ from unnecessary things, bad company and drugs. In addition, education of life is to socialize individuals and to establish socially responsible codes of conducts and ethics.

It’s time to change. Hence, the first obstacle to change is feeling the need to give those around me an excuse which I don’t have to explain but its okay if I do. Most likely, it is those around me who have made me realize that I need to change, so why would I explain? I really don’t.

We often associate letting go of negativity as giving up, and giving up is a sign of weakness. But that is not always true. Sometimes letting go can be as positive as holding on, and sometimes holding on can be as negative as letting go. Letting go of what makes me miserable is the right decision to make because while one opportunity that I am holding on would make me cry my heart out, another opportunity patiently awaits me. It is patiently waiting for me to let go of what I have and hold on to it all the while.

On the other hand, I give myself credit and don’t let anyone ever put me down. Let go feeling like the biggest winner and let go of the loss, instead go home with the exciting opportunities that the world opens up for me and put my best forward. For my best, I’ll never let inner me down. Ever!

Life is malleable. Life is constantly throwing new things our way. Life is more a continuous learning experience than anything else. And as far as I can tell, this is the way life always is. Our lives are massive, gigantic and sometimes overwhelming work-in-progress. Thank you.

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