Today, although I am still incarcerated, my life has took upon a new turn - by M.R.

Chosen Topic:

The Rainbow Within

Consolation prize – AA10

By M.R., an ‘O’ level student-inmate from Institution TM1

Life is like the rainbow that we see on the clear blue sky that emerges after a depressing storm. Its vibrant hues and distinct colouring that differentiates them from one another is similar to what we human beings are going through every aspect of our lives. When we are feeling exuberant, the colours that are bright like Red, Yellow and Orange resonates with us. When we are feeling calm, content and peaceful, the colours Green and Blue defines our mood. When we are feeling intense emotions, the dark colours like Black and Grey represents the sadness and loneliness that we are feeling. These colours represent our lives and defines how strong they are within us. Like everyone else, I did not know that I had a rainbow within me. 

Like everyone else before me and thereafter, I was born into this world with pure innocence that resonates with the colour White. My rainbow had yet to emerge but for my patents, the colour Yellow was shining brightly within them as this colour is mostly associated with happiness and hope. Seeing the tears of joy and wide smile on their faces evokes the colour Yellow within me. It was then that my rainbow begins forming.

Growing up, I have always been an outgoing and jovial kid. I lived my adolescent years with reckless abandon, enjoying every minute and every aspect of it. At that time, I thought life was going to be filled with joy and laughter that resembles the colour Orange. But little did I know that as I grew older, life would be throwing me boomerangs which I unsuccessfully avoided. It was then that I eventually realised that life has a lot more than what it already is. New colours are about to be associated with my life.

In 2013, I had my first run with the law, which eventually landed me a stint in the Singapore Boys Home and 2 years of probation. This eventually begin dimming my rainbow turning it into a dark colour that will eventually become as black as the night sky. As the years goes by and I grew older, my rebellion towards the law eventually grew as well. I began associating myself with illicit activities which earned me a few more stays in the Singapore Boys Home and getting my probation extended. However, that did not stop me from plunging myself deeper into the depths of doom. In 2016, I was eventually caught with the consumption of methamphetamine, which resulted in a revoke of my probation and a longer stay in the Singapore Boys Home. By this time, my rainbow had faded into oblivion.

During my stay, I was given the opportunity to reflect on my life and think how to do better. It was then that my rainbow begun shining again although not as brightly lit as before but it was symbol of hope which resonates with the colour Yellow and White. Upon my release from the Singapore Boys Home, I begun turning my life around looking for more positive things that will allow me to stay on the right path. I succeeded at that time and in 2018, my rainbow begins burning brightly yet again. 

However, in 2019, a wrong choice in friends made me relapse and hence begins my downfall into the depths of despair. My rainbow was no longer shining and the colour black was dominant within me. I felt lost and hopeless knowing that I have failed miserably in life and I have left a mark of the colour Black on my parents’ rainbow. I thought it was the end till one day, a spark ignited within me.

Today, although I am still incarcerated, my life has took upon a new turn. Having been within these walls for 5 years has allowed me think what went wrong previously. I got tired of being behind bars and now I have promised myself that I want to change. My parents are getting older and there’s so little time that I have to make them proud. Currently, the rainbow within me has not shine as brightly as before, but with time it eventually will shine bright as before. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”