Chosen Topic:
Hope
'N' Level student-inmate from institution TM1
1st Prize
She looked at me with unshed tears glistening in her eyes. I would never forget the haunted look and pained expression on her face when the police officers rushed in and pinned me down in my bedroom. She mouthed the words “why, abang?” and my heart splintered into a thousand pieces. I could not say anything. I had broken my promise, again…
We used to be very close, my sister and I. Growing up, we shared the most wonderful memories of playing in the mud and learning our alphabets. She tailed me wherever I went and the bond we shared was unbelievable. Weekends were filled with joy and laughter as we visited Jurong Lake Park with our reels and a loaf of bread to fish. Our parents would later join us for a mini picnic only to find us wet, sweaty and smelly in the canal. We did everything together and if I erased her from my memories, there would be a huge void that cannot be filled.
Unfortunately, at a certain point, I slowly drifted apart and we eventually chose different paths. She became the top student of her school while I was busy getting into trouble. At an early age of thirteen, I started smoking cigarettes. As I was unable to support my new habit, I engaged in petty theft and extortion. I got from bad to worse. The teachers noted with concern my worsening grades and warned my parents about my increasingly rude behaviour and truancy from school. It was not long before I found myself expelled. From that day onwards, it was a downhill path for me. A steady slide to hell, prison.
The next couple of years saw me coming in and out of prisons with each incarceration lasting between twelve and twenty months. My parents were convinced that I was beyond salvation and stopped visiting me a long time ago. My sister, on the other hand, never stopped believing in me. During my previous prison sentence, she visited me loyally. She made sure to write letters as often as possible and attended to my every need. Nearing my discharge, she prepared everything and ensured that my reintegration into society would be a smooth and positive one.
When I was finally freed, she paid close attention to my daily routine and found different ways to help me cope. When she sensed that I was feeling left out in family gatherings, she stood by me. When she sensed my boredom, she took me to the cinema to catch the latest movie. When her boyfriend told her she was spending too much time on me, she broke off their relationship. She loved me dearly and all she asked was that I promise to never go back to drugs and crime. But it was a promise I could not keep. On 28th December 2015, I was arrested at home right in front of my sister and that was the last time I saw her.
I am currently serving a twelve year prison sentence and my journey has been full of ups and downs. Life in prison is unpredictable and tough. Things go out of hand and beyond our control but what gives me strength is hope. Hope reminds me that tomorrow will be better than today. I am also thankful for the opportunity to continue my studies in prison school. It is here in prison school that I am able to achieve my academic goals. Recently, we were handed our mid-year examination results and I nearly burst into tears when I was informed that I managed to secure an ‘A’ grade for three subjects. I will continue to work hard and I hope that my sister will be proud of me one day.