From Me to You
'N' Level student-inmate from Changi Women's Prison
My life started falling apart when I was still young and naive. Getting involved with the wrong companies are the biggest mistake I have made in my life. I am also not boasting or being proud of my past life. I am sharing this piece of story about my life with the hope that maybe someone or anybody out there can learn from the mistake I have as a lesson to be learnt from and not to be experience. This is partly why I have chosen the title ‘From Me to You’.
I am the only daughter and child to my biological parents. I was a “problem child” since young. I was often caught doing illegal activities in school such as smoking cigarette and getting involved in fights so often that my parents were usually called to meet up with my teachers and principal. I keep getting into trouble and always create a number of problem for my parent I eventually chose to drop out of school when I was in primary five. I lost interest in study wanted to be out of school.
I discovered that I was pregnant for the first time when I was only fourteen years old. This happened when I missed my menstruation for four months and my mum took me for check-up. We discovered that I was almost 4 months pregnant. I was deeply in love with my boyfriend at that point and did not want to lose him, so I decided to keep his “baby” without having any second thought or any thoughts about how my parents would feel about my decision. I ran away from home and went missing for some time. Unfortunately, the patrol police caught me.
My parents had reported me as a missing person and I was wanted by the police for that. I was then charged to juvenile court under the section of Beyond Parental Control. The judge decided to sentence me to the Toa Payoh Girls’ Home but my beloved parents protested on that. I was then released and my parents brought me home by then I was already eight months pregnant. There is no way my parents can force me into aborting my baby. I eventually gave birth to my first son five months before I turn 15 years old.
This was when the darkest hour of my life was about to begin. A few weeks after giving birth to my son, I was caught with my boyfriend by the CNB for drug abuse. My parents were informed to acknowledge the situation. My mom went on her knees to beg my investigation officer to give me a chance and have sympathy on my newborn baby. Miracle happened - I was released on urine supervision and probation. I have to report myself every week for urine test, and have to be home at 10pm every night for two years.
History repeated itself; I did not learn from my mistake and was again called for the second time and I was sent straight to Changi Women’s Prison for the very first time at the age of 16 years old. My parents never give up on me and always visited me regularly while I was imprisonment serving my sentence. This goes on and on until my fourth admission to prison. When I was released from my fourth time admission, I settled down and got married to my husband. I managed to stay a drug free lifestyle for about five years.
I was really happy with my new life at that point but as a human being, we never fail to make mistake in life. My husband and I were involved in drugs again and we relapsed. I was caught and were sentenced to LT1. During my imprisonment, something had happened to my beloved father, he was diagnosed for colon cancer and had passed away when I was still serving my sentence.
I always make empty promises to my parents and they still love and dote on me. They never give up on me and keep on showering me with the unconditional love. I regretted was I have done in the past but that can’t bring my dad back to life. I learnt from the mistake I have done. I was given so much chances before but I was never aware of the opportunities given to me. I took everything I had for granted and ended up regretting it.
The pain I left the time I lost my father put me into a deep realisation on what a big mistake I have done. I never had the chance to fulfil my promises to my beloved dad and neither do I have a chance to make him proud of me. However, I tell myself that I wouldn’t want to lose this opportunity again and promise myself that I will change for the better to make at least one of my parents proud of while I have the chance. I would also like to make my children proud of me the way I am proud of my parents. This is a promise made by me to you, my beloved mother and children.
People learn things the hard way sometimes, they won’t realise until they feel the pinch of pain that then will lead them to change but it’s never too late for something good. Giving yourself a chance to change is better than never at all. I might be too late to regret my doing but never too late to change for the better.