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It can be a lesson, to someone who is willing to listen - by F.N.

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Time is like the wind, it comes and go


Student-inmate studying for a diploma from institution TM1

Consolation Prize


Time can be the past, present and the future. When I was younger, friends were my priority. Second came my family. All we do is party and drink.  Mostly we laugh, sometimes we even sing. When there's a problem, we fight first. Don’t even bother to think. Next day we'll meet, eat, and do the same thing. Such a carefree life how is this not a blessing. I've found a family in the streets, that is the thought of an immature kid.


Tick Tock. 


We are all driven by pride and ego, comparing who can fight and how many people we have below. My mum taught me to read the bible, here I am chasing the no value title. I go home with bruises after a fight, mum ask me what happen last night. I said, "Nothing happen Mum!" Went to my room, shut the door, and just play dumb. Once, twice, I thought my mum getting used to it. Little did I know, deep down she's also taking the hit. I promised her I'll change my friend. It was just an excuse; I didn’t do it in the end. The more friends I have the happier I became. My Dad say "When things go wrong, your parents are not to blame.”


Tick Tock.


As time go by, I start to see their true colour. They sit at my table but do not stand when I’m in deep trouble. The first time I go against the law, they allow me bail. My dad is who I call; to get me out of jail. At this point of time, I realise. It's enough for me to cut ties. 


Tick tock. 


When there's no one home, I’m left alone. Time alone is time to roam. At the end, I met a new friend. I met him once, he let me go. I met him twice then I know. He come in different forms, sometimes crystals, sometimes stone. Put him in a bowl, light him up and he'll take your soul. Tube in my mouth.  I inhale. WOW, my world turns into a fairytale. In this realm, my senses are heightened. So high yet I don't feel frightened. I became a king, the strongest human being. What is there to fear, everyone is scared to come near. Without this friend, my time passes slow. With him, he take me to places I can never go. Every day is a whole new adventure, something I don’t mind doing for the rest of the year. 


It's fine when you have the cash, sometimes just enough to afford the stash. Then it becomes a problem when your bank starts to crash. I start to borrow money, from my friends to my family. After a few times, they still lend. With their heart, they extend a helping friend. From a want, became a need. Why suffer for something so stupid. They don’t know what I do or what I did, everything I do was in discreet. How long can I run from authority; Singapore is known for their security. One day, the police caught me. This time, they didn't set me free. 


Tick tock. 


My world stopped for a moment when the judge knock the gravel. My life dropped to a whole new level. Family is my pillar of support. They come for visits whether it rains or is scorching hot. Time in the visits are precious like gold. Too valuable, no one is authorised to hold. From the minute we say hello, till the second where we wave goodbye. The whole time there, I can’t keep my eyes dry. They love me so much yet I neglect them. All out for my friends, who are not here in the end. My parents are getting old, I didn't realise this till I'm told. How can I not see, when it’s right there in front of me. I start to change my attitude, find ways to show my gratitude. I start to say ‘thank you’, from there it turns into ‘I love you’. Three words and I see their faces brightened. Deep down, I also feel enlightened. Time taught me to seek for opportunity, it only come once in reality. Time taught me patience, love and to count my blessings. From then on, family became my number one thing. Sometimes in private, I live in fear. Scared that my parents’ time is near. I can’t control the future, but I can decide what to do while they're still here. 


Tick tock. 


Time is like the wind; it comes and go. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow. This opportunity to write is one way I can show. How my life went from high to low. It can be a lesson, to someone who is willing to listen. I don't know when the future might bring, I'm just here to do my thing. Maybe we'll meet in the future, but for now, my pen stops here. 

 

 

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