Even though, I am now in my fifties, I will not lose hope - by M.T.

Essay Title: A Letter to my Older Self 

Consolation Prize – A01

By M.T., a GE student-inmate from Institution TM1

Dear Me, 

Looking back, it’s already 50 years. Time flies and the world is not enough. Technically, there are lots of ups and downs in life.  

Since I was a toddler, both my parents went to prison. Since then, my grandma took care of me. Every month, my grandma brought me to prison to visit my parents. Back then, I was so sad because I don’t have to get parents love. Every month, I cried whenever I visited my parents. 

As I grew older, I mixed with bad friends. Drugs and crimes are everywhere in my neighbourhood. I took drugs as to released my stressed and depression. I joined in a group of gangster to have a new family of my own. I did committed crimes and got myself into big troubles with the authorities. 

Dear Me,

My present, I am now 50 years old. You have had a lot of experiences in life. In these 50 years, whatever mistakes that you have done, you must learns the lessons from it. I believed and I’ve seen the best of you. Leave your past behind and forget about it. Be the best version of yourself by giving back to the society. No matter what happens, never look back. Help others with your skills in whatever skills you have. Remember always, never hold back whatever you want to do the goodness in life. You must have to dream big. 

Technically, in life there are no mistake, only lessons but if we do not learn from the lessons then it is a mistake. Please do not disappointed your mother again and again. She’s now 66 years old and she’s still working to survive. What a pity! 

Yes, you’re right! I want to be successful in life. Eventhough, I am now in my fifthies, I will not lose hope. Right now, I am in the right path. I am school now taking the Pre-N level. I am determined to change for the better. I have had my planned now. After my Pre-N level completed, I will apply for N level then subsequently, O-level and lastly Diploma. I want to be a better person. I will take care of my mum after my release till the end of time. Enough is enough. I have had spend a total of 32 years behind bars. I will be released on 12 May 2029. 

My hopes, goals and aspirations are all in the list bucket of mine. I want to inspire people by doing good and help others who are in need, financially and emotionally. 

My goals are to set up my own company. Doing food and beverages. Helping the people at the orphanage home. Teaching the children at the orphanage home about religion. I want to be a pious person. I have had skills in mixed martial arts so I want to teach the children at the orphanage home on how to self-defense themselves and help people who are in need. I want my mother to stop working, to sit back and relax. It really hurts me to see my mother working at this old age. 

Lastly, I do really hope and pray that I can achieve my goals. May God (Allah) bless me with a pink of health, happiness and wisdom. Au Revoir.